


on ice we glide- a yuri on ice fanfiction (self harm, yaoi, mature)

by Yaoifeed



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-17 21:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11860374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaoifeed/pseuds/Yaoifeed
Summary: yuri katsuki is a skater with quite a few... issues, but thankfully, a certain russian comes into the picture to help save him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! btw, this book is also on wattpad under my own name, yaoifeed.

He had failed. Once again, Yuri had failed. he knew that he had been overeating because of the stress, and as a result, the extra weight made all his rotations off. Now, he had just gotten off the phone with his mother.

 

Yuri's point of view

I am a disgrace. Everyone supported me, and what do I do in return? I fail. I have to do better for the next competition. Okay, from now on, no eating, and I'll have to skate and practice whenever I can. I smile sadly, and run a finger through my hair, wipe my eyes, and walk out. The Russian Yuri is there, looking like the angry little Chihuahua he is. He looks as if he is about to say something or yell, but when he looks at me, his expression softens,probably pitying me , and then he snaps at me. "what are you looking at, idiot!?" he asks. I say nothing, but drag my feet out of the bathroom instead. Then, I walk out of the arena, and see my idol, victor, in the foyer as I am beginning to leave. He smiles at me but I just turn back to the door and walk out, so I can call a taxi to take me to the airport and back to home.

 

Victor's point of view

Those eyes. Held so much sadness. What was his name again? Oh yeah, Yuri. Yuri Katsuki. Damn it, he might do something he'll regret. The kid has talent though, I saw it, I think if someone helps him hone it he can be an exquisite skater. I have a great idea! I'll coach him instead of skating myself next season. Well, looks as if I am going to have to book myself a ticket to japan. Coach is going to be pissed. but meh, I'll just ignore him.

 

 

 

Ummm... yeah, this is short, but only because its kind of a prologue and I don't want to drag I out to much, so sorry. If anyone decides ot ever read this, just write a review or something. ✌-author-chan


	2. 2

5 DAYS AFTER FIRST CHAPTER

Yuuri had lost a lot of weight, he barely ate, and spent all his time training, skating, exercising, or watching videos of his failures and others successes. and he had picked up a bad habit. If you looked closely at his arm when he reached up, you could see a pink scar, freshly healed. He almost always was on the ice now, wearing a jacket though, so no one really knew.

Meanwhile, Victor was in the taxi, on his way to the Katsuki hot springs. He stepped out for the taxi, payed the driver, and admired the Japanese design before walking in.

Yuuri's point of view  
I skate, or acting my toe loops and copying difficult routines. I feel tired and kind of dizzy, and I fall sometimes because of that. I'm still fat though. All I want to do is lose some weight, why is his making that so hard to do?! I began cutting a little, too. My mind feels so full all the time it's as if it is going to explode, but for some reason, every time I cut the pressure in my head stop sand becomes a more bearable pain on the inside of my wrist. I actually like seeing the blood, it's different from the blue and white of the ice I see everyday, it a warm colour. I get my bag and pit my skates in it, and then, making sure no one is looking, I take the blade I carry with me all the time now, and make give cuts, deep enough I draw blood. I shove the blade back into the bag and stare at the blood blooming from the small cuts and walk out, ready to go home. It's 11 o'clock already, so no one should be awake unless there are guests, so when I get there, I silently walk in. I zone out and manage to get to my room. 

I hear a bark, similar to vicchan's, who had passed away. It's just my imagination, right. Poor little guy, I actually loved him. I wish I had been there for him. So I just walk into the darkness of my room, close the door, throw the bag onto the floor, and flop onto the bed, mourning my beloved vicchan. He was named after Victor Nikiforofu, and I had adopted Vicchan after I had seen Victor also a dog like him. I fall asleep with memories of vicchan.

 

Third person

Victor wakes up, and once he realizes where he is, he sits up, and runs a hand through his hair, and then flops back down, with his eyes closed, as if he is sleeping. Yuri come's down the stairs a few moments after that, and see's Victors companion, and then victor himself. "what? Is that Victor? am I dreaming?" he mumbles. Victor tries to stifle his laughter, but tehn pops up, opening his eyes.

"Hi! yuuri,starting today, I'm your coach. I'll make you win the Grand Prix Final!" he shouts.

 

Victors point of view

Wasn't Yuuri quite chubby the last time I saw him? I narrow my eyes, and study him. He looks like he has lost weight. Lost a lot of weight. It seems unhealthy. "So yuuri, While I get dressed, why don't you eat breakfast? we'll have to practice immediately if we want you to win, right?" I say, grinning.

"Umm... I have to do something," he mumbles, looking at the floor. I frown. He's dressed in a sweat suit. What's he going to do? Go out to practice? To work out? I'll have to follow him.

"okay, then! I'll see you later! be sure to keep your schedule free!" I chirp, and he walks away and out the door, not looking back.

-time skip-

Still victor's point of view

I walk out the door, I already asked Yuuri's mother where Yuuri was, and she had frowned, telling me that he barely came home during the day, and was probably at the rink, gym, or running.

I think he's been doing hardcore training, and that'd one of the most unhealthy things he can do. I'm pretty sure he didn't eat this morning, and that he came home pretty late last night, since I heard him. I go to the rink, first, and lucky me, I hear the sound of blades against ice. the rink is empty, but Yuuri probably has a key. The door is unlocked, so I quietly let ,myself In and admire the view from a hidden distance. He's pretty good, and if his warm up has such good skills, I can only imagine how he will skate if e is trained properly. I move closer, and I can clearly see him. He's not wearing the sweat suit now, having exchanged it for lighter clothes, That's when I see his body properly.


	3. scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cover your eyes if you need to...

Recap  
The door is unlocked, so I quietly let ,myself In and admire the view from a hidden distance. He's pretty good, and if his warm up has such good skills, I can only imagine how he will skate if e is trained properly. I move closer, and I can clearly see him. He's not wearing the sweat suit now, having exchanged it for lighter clothes, That's when I see his body properly.

 

Victors point of view   
His skin is so beautiful, and beautifully pale, with the slightest tan, and his cheeks are tinted red. But what covers his body, other than his clothes, are scars. I see them. Little, thin scars mixed with thicker, bigger ones, though the majority of them are the thinner type. My eyes widen with realization as it hits me. I did a course once for a lifesaving class back in high school about types of wounds. Most small, thin, straight scars are self inflicted. Yuuri cuts himself. Yuuri cuts himself. The pain on his face when I first saw him properly, the agony etched deep in his eyes, was depression. I see among the scars, still healing and fresh cuts. I have to stop him. I have to.

 

Yuuri's point of view  
I'm panting, it's been almost an hour of continuous practice, so I stop to take a quick break. The rink is always so silent you could probably hear a pin drop. I relish the silence and serenity and then I hear IT, a loud sound amidst the silence of the rink- a gasp. I do a 360, trying to locate the location of who ever made the sound. I see them, standing near the entrance, partly hiding behind a wall. My eyes widen and my eyes travel to my arms, and I sigh. How will I pull this off? So I skate to the farthest end of the rink, and grab one of the jackets I keep in the building, since I used to be a regular five years ago and have returned to being a regular again. I put It on, hiding a wince when the fabric scrapes the fresher cuts, but I relish that pain. It will make me stronger, a better skater. Then I warily make my way off the ice, and stare at Victor expectantly. He seems to be speechless. Damn it, there's no doubt. He's seen my body. He wouldn't understand. People like him think that cutting is so horrible, but only people like me, the ones who are not destined to be first without trying understand how I feel. One might say that It is horrible and unhealthy to cut, but people like me know that it makes us stronger. I take my skates off and put them in my bag, to replace them with my shoes, and a heavy silence falls over the both of us.

"yuuri..." Victor starts, breaking the silence. "how could you? Why?" he asks, still reeling from shock. I snicker darkly, with a hint of sadness, and then my insides turn to ice. He famous and has a lot of influence on media, what if he tells? he could ruin-no, demolish, my whole skating career. So I look away, stressing over all the scenarios. This was stupid. I should have locked the door. I should have gone on a longer run. I should have left my sweat suit on. I should have worn the jacket. The ground suddenly seems very interesting. 

"...Don't tell," I say, my voice trembling. I feel it happening again. My head feeling as if it being compressed, my body feeling too full of blood. I need to cut-fast, but I try to ignore it, and hold the sudden urge off. 

" Yuuri, you need help," Victor tells me gently. 

"NO!" I yell, then my hands fly to cover my mouth, and I talk again, a lot more quietly. "No... I don't," I say.

"You're obviously underweight, and when You took your skates off I could see blood seeping through them. That means you've been skating too much, and have had bad blisters and wound on your feet. AND YOU'VE BEEN CUTTING!"I He explodes, anger and worry shown plainly on his gorgeous face. 

"What does not kill me makes me stronger," I state. 

"Well, if you keep this up, you really will end up dead!" he snaps back, Then grabs me my the shoulders and shakes me. "Wake up! This is not going to make you a better person. You're destroying yourself. You think that no one's noticed that you don't eat?! That you train all day?! Do you have any fucking idea how worried your mother is?! WELL, DO YOU?!" he shouts, his silvery white hair flies around his face, which is usually a milky white but now reddened with anger. He tries to compose himself, and talks again, this time much more gently and quietly, almost whispering. "Don't do it, Yuuri, Don't." What he does next surprises me. He opens his arms and presses me in towards his body, and gives me a hug. "I'm your coach now, Yuuri, and also your friend. By hurting yourself, you're hurting me,"

The urge to cut vanishes, and is replaced with a warm, peaceful, feeling. I feel like Victor can make me a better skater, that I can trust him more than I trust myself. I whisper back to him. "Thanks," He smiles. "I don't know if I can stop," I admit.

"Trust me when I say this, Yuuri. I will stop you, no matter what it takes," he says, and I smile like I have not done in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more chapter coming soon


End file.
